About three years ago, I read an article on HuffPost about friendship. This was also during the time that I was analyzing my life, in general. Knowing that I needed to make some changes… getting rid of the negativity and allowing the positivity in. So, I started to really analyze the friendships that I had made over the years, getting rid of some and truly recognizing the ones that supported me in all I did, with no reserve or envy.
They say, “keep your circles small” and that it is “quality over quantity.” However, I truly believe that we can all have many friends in our lives… the question is, do each of those friends support us, even when we are living a full life? According to the article, by Christina Pesoli, a full life is when you have all 3 things going for you; looks, success and happiness. So, the question remains, do ALL the friends in your circle support you when you have ultimately obtained all of those 3 things? Or, is their friendship with you conditioned on you having only 2 out of the 3? The “2 out of the 3 friendship” is explained by Pesoli as this: If you are successful and have an amazing significant other, then you better be unattractive, in some way shape or form. If you are attractive and are truly successful, then your significant other better be an “ass.” If you and your significant other have an amazing relationship and you’re attractive, then you better have problems in your career.
Most of my life has been a repeated cycle of the 2 out of 3. I either had good self-esteem (looks) and the success, but my relationship was failing. Or, I had the success and the relationship, but had low self-esteem. Or, I had the relationship and good self-esteem, but my success was failing. However, it has only been within the last few years that “reality check” came into play. After finding the “true” love of my life, obtaining the career of my dreams, feeling and looking the best I ever have and financially being successful (both my husband and I together), I officially obtained all 3… finally living a full life! Something I have always desired and longed for, like most of us do, right? However, that is when I saw some of my friends’ behaviors starting to change. They either were not speaking to me as much, or always trying to “bring me down,” when we spoke, instead of supporting and celebrating with me. When people always try to find a negative in your positive, maliciously, I believe they are not friends that truly love YOU and want ALL the best for you, again, without reserve or envy. So, I got rid of those friends… getting rid of all the negativity… because true happiness has no space for it.
To find friends that support you and want nothing more than to see you happy is a true blessing, because I truly believe they are few and far between. So, when you find them, grab on to them and hold on tight… and be that same kind of friend in return, with no reserve or envy. Women should empower other women, not be toxic. Although we are competitive creatures by nature, we should also be empowering. I believe the challenges in everyday life, for women, still remain. So, we should help each other feel and do our best and support each other, no matter what… through the bad and all the good… being each others’ biggest cheerleaders!
Remember, some people wanna see you do good, but never better than them. Pay close attention to those that you allow in your circle and in your universe. The friends that bring with them any indication of negativity, should be watched with one eye open. YOU deserve all the best… looks, success and happiness. “PAY CLOSE ATTENTION TO THOSE WHO DON’T CLAP WHEN YOU WIN…”
All my love to all my friends (pictured and not pictured) that have supported me, loved me, and always celebrating life with me, through all the bad and all the good. I love you and am truly grateful for all of you….
Love always, @thedesiredgurl
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