TRUE Happiness… is it real?

Photo: Jerry Metellus MUAH: Zee Clemente

Happiness is as a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but which if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you ~ Nathaniel Hawthorne

Is happiness, TRUE happiness real and obtainable? What does it mean to truly be happy? For me, happiness, in general, means that you are satisfied with your life. You feel content, happy and excited… because life is going good. This type of happiness is completely conditional and dependent upon how things are going in your life. If your relationship is going good, you’re happy. If you are making good money and are successful in your career, you’re happy.  However, as soon as there is a disruption in some aspect of your life; your partner is mad at you, you are having a hard time at work, or unexpected financial responsibilities come up… your sense of happiness disappears. This kind of happiness, whether we may realize it or not, exists outside of us… conditioned and dependent upon outside forces and individuals.

TRUE happiness, however, is an entirely separate entity that exists apart from general happiness. True happiness is what, I believe, we spend most of our lives craving, seeking and trying to obtain. However, in order to do that, we need to understand entirely what TRUE happiness is and knowing when we have actually obtained it and are actually existing in that space. After years of analyzing and becoming conscious of what it truly means to be happy for the past 12 years, I have finally figured it out. TRUE happiness, to me, is a deep sense of inner well-being and peace…. a true gratitude for simply being alive and well. This is obtained solely by you, and has no dependence on outside forces. It is not dependent upon another person’s actions or inaction, not dependent on success and not dependent on things like vacations or material things. TRUE happiness does not come and go and is absolutely independent of our life situation. However, this, in no way means that you don’t feel anger, or sadness or fear… it’s having the ability to feel those emotions to the full extent but, not losing sight of yourself. You are aware and remain present in your thoughts and emotions, without getting caught up in them. It’s about responding and not reacting… essentially WAKING UP AND BECOMING CONSCIOUS. Being conscious of true self. This is my practice every day. Consciousness is fearful and even may sound like “bullshit” for some, the reason that most stay in their “bubble” and remain dependent upon all the things that surround them on a daily basis… whatever that may be or mean for each individual. Of course, we, including myself, love when our life is going great or as planned. We want consistency, love, success, family, health, etc. However, these things should be looked at as the “icing on the cake.” You have to first be happy with yourself… period…. remember, you come first. As soon as you do that, all the positive things in life will follow. I am a firm believer that the energy you put out in the universe is the energy you receive in return. This is just another part of being conscious and understanding of true self. Here are a few tips, and what I have personally done, to help get you started on this journey of true happiness…. if you so wish:

• Love yourself completely and unconditionally – no judgments, no expectations
• Don’t rely on others or outside forces to make YOU happy – have a deep sense of inner well-being and peace in yourself. YOU are your own happiness.
• Set jealousy aside. This is a huge challenge for some because of the endless opportunities of seeing the lives of others on social media. Remember, perception is everything. Never believe what others ONLY WANT YOU TO SEE. You never know what is going on behind closed doors. Placing expectations on your life based on the life of others will always set you back on achieving TRUE happiness.
• Be kind and humble
• Be grateful and forgiving
• Accept that which you cannot change
• Do something about that which you CAN change – respond instead of reacting 
• Take care of you…

Happiness is as a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but which if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you. Find your sense of true self, be conscious, sit quietly and true happiness will settle upon you…

Love always, @thedesiredgurl

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