Do you value your self-worth from the “likes” you get on any of your social media platforms? How many times have you looked, after posting something, to see how many people liked your photos, loved your statuses or viewed your Snaps and Instavideos? Are you addicted to social media, social approval and/or social status? I can honestly say that, sometimes, I have been guilty of this, especially with Instagram. In my opinion, social media is for sharing… all your accomplishments, all your happiness and, for some, your sadness and hard times. I believe that social media sharing is an amazing opportunity, that I didn’t have while raising my kids or while I was younger, going through my experiences in life. I am using social media now, in my later life, and have truly embraced it and appreciate its value, when that value isn’t being abused, like I have seen some do. I actually have a front row seat on watching my friends’ lives evolve and watching their kids literally grow-up… being able to support them, in all the good and even the bad (if they choose to share). However, when does this foundation of value, that social media was built on, get addicting and actually start changing the way “we” as individuals view ourselves… how we value our life, our posts… even value ourselves?
Now I know this blog doesn’t represent everyone, because it may not even apply to you…. simply because you are not a social media eccentric individual. You could care less about Instagram, Facebook, “likes,” “loves,” views, etc. Good for you! However, maybe one day you decide to just “do it,” and go full throttle, sharing your life with all the people you know care and love you… and all of us social media “experts” know how addicting it can be, once you start! So, this blog can, essential, apply to you too one day. With that being said, I will say this…
I personally view “likes” as possibly another form of “crack” of our time. You can get a, so called, emotional high when your posts hit a responsive “jackpot” with your followers, so you keep going after it, because you will always want more… craving it! However, this craving may also possibly be the result of not getting feedback in other ways, like we do when we have an in-person conversation with 
someone about our lives. We, as a society, spend more time online, than we do in-person, where we may not get the positive reinforcements from facial expressions, pats on the back, hugs, high-fives and other nonverbal communication… so, we try to get it from “likes,” “loves” and views. With that said, this may make you question how much you are actually liked or loved by your friends and family. For example, when you post a picture and don’t get the “likes” and “loves,” you, on average, get, do you find yourself possibly cycling through stages? Denial: “It’s because I posted at the wrong time!” Anger: “What’s wrong with my friends?! I always “like” ALL their pics!” Disappointment: “Maybe that photo wasn’t as great as I thought it was.” This may sound crazy, but can you honestly say it hasn’t happened… not even just a little bit, not even just once? Being unconscious and actually attaching your worth and level of self-esteem to social media is, for the most part, yes, crazy. I have read some articles, in the past, especially articles on narcissism, stating that research has found that more women, than men, are relying on social media “likes” and views to give meaning to their lives, feel validated and boost their self-esteem… hence the possible reasons for some of the half-naked photos and sexual innuendos… maybe? However, ensuring that your self-worth is based on the love and respect YOU have for yourself, and not based on social media, should be the ultimate focus and goal. Social media should just be the cherry on top!! Having fun sharing!
So, a good thing to ask yourself when posting: If there were no “likes,” “loves” or views, would you still post it? Would you still JUST want to share, no matter how others respond to it… because we all know that people actually SEE the post and maybe won’t like it…. right? Hence, the Instavideos = 500 views and only 200 likes????? WTF?…. right??? Ha Ha!! The bottom line is that social media is to be used and viewed as a forum to share with the people you love and that love you right back. We all like to see ALL the “likes,” “loves” and views, I KNOW I DO! It just shows us how much people are excited, just as much as we are, about the events in our lives, or the support they have for us. They are going to “like” your posts based on those simple facts alone… the others, you know, the ones that don’t “like,” well, lets just call them the “haters” or “nosy people” (insert any sarcastic emoji here)…. LOL!! Post to actually share moments and not to evaluate and value how good those moments are based on other people’s opinions. Share with people that truly like and love you, not “like” and “love” you. Social media, when it is used consciously, is one of the best technological capabilities we have in our society… allowing us to stay connected, especially when our lives are always so busy, making it hard to always see each other and “catch up.”
Again, we ALL like to see the feedback and comments we get from our posts, I DO!!! I am not saying that “likes” are a bad or negative thing, or that you should avoid them or not enjoy them. What I am saying is, never let it determine your self-worth and level of self-esteem. Self-worth and self-esteem should be based solely on the respect and love that YOU have for yourself… never based on others, including the virtual “likes,” “loves,” and views…
So, I’ll see YOU on social media!!! “Liking,” “Loving” and viewing away!!!
Love always, @thedesiredgurl
**Please follow my blogs by entering your email address below, located by the Facebook and Instagram links!! Liked the blog… please give it a LIKE! Comments are welcomed too!!**
About three years ago, I read an article on 
lives… the question is, do each of those friends support us, even when we are living a full life? According to the article, by 
After finding the “true” love of my life, obtaining the career of my dreams, feeling and looking the best I ever have and financially being successful (both my husband and I together), I officially obtained all 3… finally living a full life! Something I have always desired and longed for, like most of us do, right? However, that is when I saw some of my friends’ behaviors starting to change. They either were not speaking to me as much, or always trying to “bring me down,” when we spoke, instead of supporting and celebrating with me. When people always try to find a negative in your positive, maliciously, I believe they are not friends that truly love YOU and want ALL the best for you, again, without reserve or envy. So, I got rid of those friends… getting rid of all the negativity… because true happiness has no space for it.
true blessing, because I truly believe they are few and far between. So, when you find them, grab on to them and hold on tight… and be that same kind of friend in return, with no reserve or envy. Women should empower other women, not be toxic. Although we are competitive creatures by nature, we should also be empowering. I believe the challenges in everyday life, for women, still remain. So, we should help each other feel and do our best and support each other, no matter what… through the bad and all the good… being each others’ biggest cheerleaders!
Thedesiredlyfe Blog Site 